Crush

Ever have a crush on someone? Do you know what it is about crushes that fuel the fire? You know what I'm talking about...daydreaming, fluttering stomach, shortness of breath, weak knees, etc. I'm a hopeless romantic. I find myself all too often drawn to "chic flicks" and love songs. I feed on compliments and flattery, no matter how insincere. I don't have the highest self-esteem so any positive buffering from depression is devoured.

Lately my soul has, without my permission, gone searching for the feelings you get when you have a crush, even if it's only vicarious. I have been unknowingly evaluating other people's relationships for any tips to aid relief of my romantic drought, both physical and mental. I wish I could put a finger on exactly what it is that's causing this lonely, empty feeling. I don't know if I'm just feeling sorry for myself, or if something is really wrong with me.

A co-worker mentioned to a mutual co-worker the other day (I was eavesdropping) that confident people are more attractive. I tend to agree. Confidence makes you attractive. Attractiveness gives you positive attention. Positive attention makes you more confident. And so the carousel goes. So I'm going to buy a ticket and give it a whirl. I'll start with painting my nails, even my toenails. Small but significant. Wish me luck!!